


Girl Wake Up

by Susan19



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer (TV)
Genre: Episode: s4e5 Beer Bad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-25
Updated: 2019-09-25
Packaged: 2020-10-27 22:07:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,944
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20767688
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Susan19/pseuds/Susan19
Summary: An alternative ending for s4e5 - Beer Bad





	Girl Wake Up

"Girl wake up!"

Faith was running, filled with terror. Fists were pumping furiously as she ran. No matter how hard she pushed herself, Buffy was always barely a few steps behind. Walking calmly, knife (her knife) held high, ready to strike. A grim look of determination on her face.

How could Buffy be chasing her? She was already dead. Buffy had already killed her.

"Girl wake up!"

That voice again, she couldn't figure it out. It was Buffy's voice, but Buffy was trying to kill her, and she wasn't asleep. She feels a weight on her chest, fingers probing her face, pulling on her hair. But that weight and those fingers weren't there. They couldn't be there. She was running, no one was touching her. Yet she could still feel those insistent fingers.

"Girl wake up!"

The voice was pleading, begging. She could feel a firm grip on her shoulders, shaking her. But no hands were touching her. Her confusion caused her to stumble, and Buffy caught her. Cruelly grabbing her by the throat and jamming the knife into her stomach.

She screamed as the blood skipped over the knife and spilled to the ground for the thousandth time.

"Girl wake up."

The voice was quieter now, she could tell it was crying. Something wet was on her face. It was raining, but then it wasn't. Events reset as they had countless times before. The sun is shining, and she is happy, smiling brightly in her dress that she hates but also kind of loves. The only person who ever made her feel worth a damn sitting with her, enjoying a picnic with her. His warm smile filling her with hope.

Then Buffy was there, her knife slicing violently through the air. She screams, but it doesn't help.

"Girl wake up."

Night falls, and she's running again, pumping her hands, trying futilely to put some distance between her and her tormentor. Her limbs feel limp and powerless. She claws at the air in front of her, hoping by some miracle it will give her some advantage - but it never does. Buffy is on her again. She's falling, then she's crawling - then she's bleeding. It's happened hundreds or thousands of times - or maybe only once.

"Girl wake up."

The weight began to feel more real. Softness surrounded her, something calling to her. She sees Buffy in the distance, beckoning her closer. This Buffy held no knife. She wore a warm, welcoming smile. Something Faith had never seen before on Buffy's face. Yet when she looked back, the murderous Buffy was still chasing her. Her mind was tearing into pieces as she tried to understand what was happening.

"Girl wake up."

The voice was whining now. A sad, desperate mewling sound that grated on Faith's ears. She wanted it to stop. She wanted everything to stop. She clasped her hands to her head and dropped to her knees. The chasing Buffy caught her and drove the knife in once again.

Faith looked down to see the knife in her stomach. She pulled it out with a snarl and ran towards the welcoming Buffy, intent on returning the favor.

"Girl awake!"

Faith groaned as she opened her eyes. She was cold, and everything ached. Buffy was on the bed with her, bouncing and gleefully chanting that she was awake. Buffy's hair was in knots, her movements feral and chaotic. Faith had no idea what was going on, machines were beeping, tubes connected to her arms.

Faith tried to push Buffy away, but she was too weak, and Buffy was too frantic.

"Get off of me!" She shouted and shoved but Buffy moved closer, nuzzling Faith's cheek with her own. Faith scrunched her face and tried to pull away, but Buffy wouldn't let her.

"Miss girl. Like girl." Buffy leaned over her with a big toothy grin.

"What is wrong with you?" Faith pushed at Buffy again, Buffy ignored her attempts. Continuing her happy bouncing.

"Nothing wrong, miss girl. Girl awake!" Buffy's glee was making Faith furious.

"Get off!" Faith shouted and tried again to push Buffy off of her to no avail.

"Like girl. Girl like Buffy?" Buffy backed away slightly and tilted her head.

"No! I hate you. You tried to gut me!" Faith screamed at Buffy, even with her eyes open all she can see is those dreams. Buffy chasing her, Buffy taking everything from her.

"No no no! No hate! No hate Buffy." Buffy backed away to the end of the bed. Her lip quivering.

Now that Buffy moved off of her, Faith finally found the strength to sit up. Still not having any idea of what the hell was going on or what was wrong with Buffy. She realized she had been dreaming and wondered if she was still asleep. What was happening now made even less sense than her terrifying dreams.

Buffy was whimpering, and it made Faith's stomach lurch. "No hurt girl!" Buffy pleaded her case, but Faith knew better.

"Yes, hurt." Faith shifted her gown to reveal her scarred stomach. "You did this, you put me here!"

"No no no no" Buffy was full-on crying now, hands covering her face. She began to wail on herself as she cried. Pulling at her hair and punching herself in the head. Faith tried to watch impassively. Seeing Buffy like this was slowly starting to affect her. The girl crying and wailing on herself wasn't the same one that had been chasing and killing her endlessly in her dreams. It wasn't even the same Buffy that had jammed a knife in her gut.

"B. Stop." Faith leaned forward to try and get Buffy's attention, but it wasn't working. "Buffy! I like you. It's ok. Just stop hurting yourself."

Buffy looked through the mass of her tangled hair. Eyes rimmed with red, face wet and blotchy from crying. "Girl like Buffy?" She asked hopefully but clearly still nervous and tentative.

Faith had to bite her lip to prevent herself from screaming NO. To tell her again that she hated her. Until she understood what was happening, she had to stay calm, keep Buffy calm. She was sure that was the only safe way out of this situation.

Her body was starting to feel like her own again, she could feel her strength returning. She just had to keep Buffy calm and figure out how to get away from her. "Yes, I like you." Saying the words verged on physical pain.

Buffy began to bounce on the end of the bed with glee again.

"Oh thank goodness."

Faith looked up to see Giles and Willow in the doorway. They hadn't yet noticed that Faith was awake. "Buffy, you need to come with us," Giles said as he moved into the room.

Buffy turned to him and growled, "Buffy protect girl!" Her teeth were bared, and she covered Faith's body with her own.

Giles finally saw that Faith was awake, "Faith. Are you… ok?"

Faith laughed bitterly, "oh yeah, I'm five by five. What the hell is going on here? What is wrong with her?"

"Buffy drank some magic beer… we expect the effects to wear off in a few hours." Giles stammered nervously, not taking his eyes off of Faith. Faith couldn't help but enjoy the nervousness she elicited in the watcher. A man she had once looked up to and hoped that he would care for her as much as he did Buffy. Now she held nothing but contempt for the man.

Willow was standing in the doorway, her posture tense. "You better not have hurt her! The police will be here any minute to lock you up!"

The yelling caused Buffy to growl again. "No take girl!"

"Get off of me! I have to get out of here." Faith again tried to get out from under Buffy's protection. Her strength was returning, but Buffy seemed to be stronger than she should be.

"Buffy protect girl." Buffy insisted.

"If the police come, someone is going to get hurt. I have to get out of here." Faith tried to reason with the feral slayer, but Buffy wasn't paying any attention.

Giles turned back to Willow, "can you take them somewhere safe?"

"Seriously? You want to keep Faith safe?" Willow scowled and gave Giles an incredulous look.

"I don't think we have much choice right now. Buffy may very well hurt or kill anyone who tried to take Faith away." Giles had barely taken his eyes off of Faith, his distrust of her clear.

"Screw that. I'm not going anywhere with you. Once whatever this is wears off, she'll want to lock me up, or maybe even finish the job. I'm not taking that chance." Faith finally managed to push Buffy away enough to stand up. She stretched her legs and tested her muscles, she knew she could get past Willow and Giles. She took a step towards the door, and Willow quickly got out of her way, but Buffy launched herself and grabbed onto her back. Grappling onto her back like a rabid howler monkey - there was no way for Faith to dislodge her.

"Girl no go!" Buffy screeched into Faith's ear.

Faith was a little shaky on her feet with the weight of the extra slayer, she had to carefully balance herself, or they both might crash to the ground. She wanted to smash Buffy into the wall to get her off but didn't think she had the strength. Nor could she risk Buffy continuing to screech into her ear.

"Follow me. I'll take you both where the police won't find you." Willow offered, clearly dreading having to help Faith with anything.

Faith twisted and tried to pry Buffy off of her, but she couldn't. "B? Just come with us."

"Girl stay?" Buffy's delight at the idea that Faith wasn't going to leave caused her heart to ache.

Faith sighed and closed her eyes, "yes. I'll stay. But we have to go."

Buffy climbed back to the ground and latched onto Faith's hand. Bouncing excitedly next to her.

"Lead the way, I guess." Faith said to Willow, she tried to pull out of Buffy's grip, but it was too strong. After a few moments of trying, she gave up and accepted her fate.

They wound their way out of the hospital after obtaining some scrubs for Faith to wear. The entire time, Buffy clutched Faith's hand tightly and skipped happily at her side. Faith was still in a fog. Just a few minutes ago she had been in complete terror of Buffy, and now here Buffy was trying to protect her. It was too confusing for her to even begin to figure out how she felt.

"What…" She paused, not sure she really wanted to know what happened with the Mayor. It was easy enough to assume that the Scoobies had defeated him. She never really believed that they wouldn't. Knowing the details wouldn't make anything better for her. "How long have I been out?"

"About four months," Willow answered gruffly.

Faith didn't have any other questions and was sure Willow didn't want to talk to her anyway, so she just let herself be led. They cut through the woods, and Buffy began to growl. Faith's own vampire sense was tingling. Buffy finally released her hold on Faith and ran off to take care of the vampires. Faith considered joining in the fight, the slayer part in her itching for battle.

Deciding that she'd much rather take advantage of Buffy leaving her side, Faith looked at Willow and shrugged before heading off in the other direction.

"You're really just going to take off?" Faith cringed at Willow's accusation but kept walking. "Don't you want to know why she came to you tonight? Don't you want to know if it's real?"

Faith finally stopped walking, "if what's real?"

"Her wanting to protect you."

Faith scoffed, "whatever, she's just crazy."

"She's not that crazy. She knows who she likes and who she doesn't."

"What do I care if she likes me or not?"

"Please." Willow rolled her eyes, "she might be blind, but I'm not." Faith was a little surprised to see mousy Willow standing up to her, and more than a little annoyed that she was calling her out on caring about what Buffy thought of her.

Faith took a menacing step towards Willow, "what the hell does that mean?"

"You can't tell me that you wouldn't give anything to be in her orbit. To be someone she cares about."

Faith grimaced and looked away. It's what she wanted since she'd known the other slayer existed, but she certainly wasn't going to admit that to Willow.

"She's going to freak out if you're not here when she gets back," Willow added - a last-ditch effort to get Faith to cooperate.

"That really seems like more your problem than mine." Faith answered, starting to head away from Willow again.

"Except she's not going to stop looking for you."

Faith paused, she was so tired. She had nothing, no one who cared about her, nowhere to go. The idea of finding out if maybe Buffy really did care about her was tempting. "Once she wakes up from whatever this is, she'll want to kill me again."

"I don't think so." Willow insisted, and the fury on her face made Faith think that she meant it. It made very little sense to her that Willow was trying to convince her to stay.

"She sure as hell isn't going to want... to keep protecting me." Faith frowned, she had no idea what she was supposed to do. Sticking around was a losing proposition. Buffy was only being nice to her because of this magical beer.

"Looks like you waited too long to decide," Willow commented as Buffy came skipping towards them.

"Why girl no fight? Girl like fight?" The happy and curious look in Buffy's eyes filled Faith with rage. Buffy was acting like they were best buddies, and they most certainly weren't. Buffy had tried to kill her, had put her into a coma, and then tortured her relentlessly in her dreams.

"Stop calling me girl! You know my name! Fucking use it!" Faith hadn't meant to yell and regretted it once she saw Buffy's face.

Buffy's shoulders dropped as she approached Faith slowly and gently took her hand again. "Faith." She whispered, and Faith let out an exasperated sigh. All of Buffy's jubilance was gone as they made their way to campus. Her hold on Faith's hand was tentative, Faith could have easily pulled away from it. She just couldn't bring herself to do it.

Faith felt awful for yelling at Buffy. She was sure she'd ruined whatever it was that was making Buffy want to protect her.

They had made it to Buffy and Willow's dorm room without further incident. Faith wasn't all that impressed with Willow's idea of a secret hiding spot - but she didn't see that she had any room to complain. Faith shuffled miserably into the room. Buffy let go of her hand and sat down on the desk chair. Her head still hanging low.

Faith looked at Willow for some kind of advice, she wasn't actually sure if she preferred the happy, bouncing Buffy or this new sad one. Willow only shook her head and sat down on her bed.

"How much longer is this going to last?" Faith asked, watching Buffy carefully, trying to decide what to do.

"We're not sure, should be gone by morning." Willow shrugged, not helping Faith at all with how she should deal with the situation.

Faith looked at the door, wondering if Buffy would even try to stop her if she left. It made her heart ache to realize that she wanted Buffy to try. She knelt down in front of Buffy, "B? I'm sorry I yelled at you. I'm just wicked confused. OK?"

Buffy looked up to meet Faith's eyes, "Gi… Faith not mad?"

"No, I'm not mad at you." Faith replied warily, not even sure if she meant it.

Buffy grinned and started bouncing around again. This time repeating Faith's name over again in a disjointed rhythm. Faith groaned, wishing she hadn't said anything.

"Is there anything you can do to calm her down?" Faith pleaded with Willow.

"Maybe she'll tire herself out?" Willow offered weakly with a disinterested shrug.

"She's a slayer, it's going to take a hell of a lot to do that."

Buffy had started spinning in her desk chair, giggling to herself. She built up too much momentum and flung herself off of the chair, crashing into Faith. Faith managed to catch her and keep them from landing on the ground.

"Faith strong," Buffy commented, pushing against Faith's arms. Seeming to test her strength.

Faith was exhausted and starving, her mind a complete mess. She managed to carefully pull herself away from Buffy, who was once again bouncing around the room.

"Got any food in here?"

"Food!" Buffy shouted and was out the door before either Faith or Willow could even try to react. They exchanged glances, and Willow stood up.

"Might be better if you stay here."

Faith nodded and sank to the floor, leaning against Buffy's bed. Not feeling quite right actually sitting on the bed, but too exhausted to stand.

Willow approached the door, "are you going to stay?"

Faith met her eyes, "I have no idea."

Willow nodded and left to chase after Buffy.

Faith sat and rested her head against her knees, tears began to well up in her eyes. She was so tired and so confused. The last thing she remembered was a brutal fight to the death, a fight that she had lost. She had nothing and nowhere to go. She wasn't sure how she was even still alive. Why hadn't the watchers' council killed her while she slept? It would have been so easy.

Why hadn't Buffy finished the job? Why had Buffy come to her tonight to wake her up from her coma?

She didn't have any answers, and she had no idea what options she even had.

Her thoughts are disrupted by the door opening and Buffy dumping a mound of vending machine food in front of her.

"Faith sad?" Buffy knelt down in front of Faith, cocking her head.

Faith wiped at her eyes, "no, I'm fine."

Buffy moved closer and wrapped her arms around Faith's waist. Faith wasn't sure anyone had ever tried to comfort her before and she had no idea how to react. "No sad." Buffy pulled back and started handing Faith chips and candy bars. "Food! Food make Faith happy!"

Faith's stomach rumbled at the assortment of junk food in front of her. None of it was particularly enticing to her, but she needed to eat. She ate whatever items Buffy handed her as slowly as she could. Guessing it probably wouldn't be too good to fill her empty stomach with this much garbage, but not having much of a choice.

"Faith happy?" Buffy asked once Faith finally convinced her to stop trying to feed her.

"Yeah B, I'm happy." She replied with absolutely no conviction.

"Sleepy." Buffy yawned and stretched, Faith assumed this meant Buffy would move away from her. Hopefully climbing into bed and going to sleep. Instead, Buffy maneuvered against Faith until she was using her lap as a pillow.

"Um… don't you want to get into bed? It'd be more comfortable." Faith nudged Buffy and motioned to the bed she was leaning against. Much to Faith's relief, Buffy nodded and stood up. Her relief was short-lived when Buffy grabbed her and pulled her onto the bed.

Too exhausted to fight, she let herself be surrounded by Buffy. Buffy draped her arm and leg over Faith and promptly fell asleep.

Faith laid as still as she could, not wanting to fall asleep. Afraid of what Willow would think if she walked in on this. Her resolve didn't last very long.

She opened her eyes in complete confusion. It took her a few moments to remember where she was and how she had gotten there. She breathed a sigh of relief when she found Buffy was no longer draped over her body. The relief vanished when she sat up and saw Buffy staring at her from across the room.

She looks away long enough to verify that Willow was gone. She wasn't sure if that would be good or bad for her. Buffy's face was impossible to read, but if she intended violence, there had already been plenty of time.

She had no idea what to say or ask. She just wanted to be anywhere but here.

"I'm sorry."

That was the last thing Faith expected Buffy to say. She wasn't sure what Buffy was apologizing for or if she could forgive Buffy. She stood and moved towards the door.

"Faith," Buffy called out before she could get there. The calmness of her voice gave Faith pause.

"What?" She snapped and gritted her teeth as she waited to hear whatever Buffy was going to say. She moved back into the room, crossing her arms over her chest. She kept her distance, ready to spring into action if Buffy made any move to attack.

Buffy swallowed hard as she looked up at Faith. "Where are you going to go?"

Faith looked back at the door and realized she had no idea. Her posture relaxed slightly when Buffy clearly had no intention of fighting her.

"If you stay, maybe I can help."

"You want to help me?" Faith was incredulous.

"I visited you every day. Hoping you would wake up. Hoping we could start over."

"There's no starting over." Faith shook her head. As much as she wanted to accept what Buffy was offering her, she knew she couldn't do it.

"It won't be easy, but you can start over."

Faith's insides were burning, she just needed to get away. She needed time to think. "Are you going to stop me if I try to leave?"

"No, it's up to you."

Faith took another step towards the door.

"But…"

"But what? Are the cops right outside waiting for me?"

"No, there are no cops." Buffy swallowed hard. "If you don't let me help you, the council… they know you're awake."

"Whatever, I'm not afraid of those idiots." Faith crossed her arms over her chest but made no move to leave.

"Do you really want to have to run and hide for the rest of your life?"

Faith didn't know what she wanted. She knew she didn't want to be what she was, but she wasn't sure she knew how to be anything else. The idea of having to be on the run from the police or the council wasn't appealing, but neither was facing what she had done.

"I can't…" She started talking, but couldn't finish.

"If you let me help you, you can do anything." Buffy offered.

"Why would you want to help me? After everything I did, how can you possibly want to help me with anything?"

Buffy frowned and looked away nervously, "I've had a lot of time to think about you and what happened." Buffy looked down at her hands and Faith could almost see the knife that she assumed Buffy was imagining there.

"I don't need your help. I don't need anything from you!" Faith stalked closer, rage building as she remembered what Buffy had done to her.

"I know that." Buffy faced her stoically and remained seated. Her relaxed posture was very confusing to Faith. "I know you don't need me. But I need you."

"What?" Faith stumbled back a step, taken completely off guard. "What the hell do you need me for?"

"I'm not like you. I can't do it alone. I need to feel like someone knows me. Like someone understands me."

"You're hardly alone." Faith scoffed, this was the most ridiculous thing she had ever heard.

Buffy sighed, "it might seem that way. I have people who care about me, but none of them understand me."

"And you think I do? I don't have a clue about you. You make no sense to me at all. Always so self-righteous and tormented in your duty." Faith waved her hands around to show her disdain for Buffy.

Buffy's face dropped, any hope that Faith might have seen in there was gone. "Yeah, you're right. Guess I was crazy to think you were just putting up a front." Buffy wiped at her eyes. "Whatever you want to do. Run or stay."

Faith looked at the door and took a step towards it, before turning back around. "What do you think happens if I stay?"

Buffy's eyes were firmly on the floor, and Faith felt like a monster. She tried hard to separate the memories she had of Buffy with the one sitting before her. As much pain as Buffy had caused her - she knew that Buffy was 'good'. She knew that Buffy's intentions were always right. She tried to hold on to that and find some way to believe that if Buffy wanted to help her - then maybe she should let her.

After a few moments of silence, Buffy sucked in a breath. "I don't know. We deal with the council, get them to give you a chance to be a slayer. Then you can do whatever you want."

"What makes you think I want to work for the council?"

Buffy winced, "I guess I just hoped you would be willing to try and cooperate."

Faith scoffed, "just cause you're all about them, doesn't mean I'm gonna give them another chance."

Buffy narrowed her eyes, and for the first time, Faith saw the venom she had expected from Buffy this whole time. "I am hardly all about them. The only reason I even talked to them was for you."

Faith swallowed and took a step back, but she couldn't help needling at Buffy a little more. "Where is my good friend Wes these days? Is he just waiting outside with some tranqs so they can lock me up in a cage?"

Buffy put her hands on her hips and raised her eyes to the ceiling. The frustration was rolling off of her, and Faith couldn't help but feel it. "Wesley is in LA, I think. With Angel and Cordelia."

"So soul-boy lived then?"

Buffy scowled but didn't answer. It took Faith a few moments to put together how that could be true. "Just go."

"B, look. I'm sorry I can't be what you want me to be."

"Pretty sure you just don't want to be, not that you can't. But it's your decision. It's your life to throw away if you want."

Faith didn't understand what Buffy's problem was, and she didn't care. Even though Buffy seemed to be offering her friendship, she didn't believe for a second that it was real.

Faith moved to the door, resting her hand on the handle. "I…" She hesitated, closing her eyes - she half expected that Buffy was going to bury a knife in her back any second. "How do you plan to help me?"

She didn't turn, but she felt Buffy moving behind her. "That's going to take a lot of figuring out. I hadn't expected this to happen the way it did."

Faith slowly turned around. She needed to see Buffy's face. "Over and over again, you killed me." She placed her hand over her stomach, almost expecting to feel the hot wetness of her blood seeping through her shirt.

Buffy's face contorted in sadness.

"How do you expect me to ever get past that? You stabbed me. You killed me!" Faith was losing control of her anger, and Buffy was only standing there with tears sliding down her cheeks. "You don't get to cry about this! You took everything from me."

Buffy wiped at her face. "I forgive you."

Faith gasped, her rage displaced by confusion. "Are you kidding me? You forgive me?! I'm the one who lost four months of their life! I'm the one who lost the only person who ever cared about me!"

"I may have killed you, but you killed me first. You turned away from me. Then you turned me into you."

Faith laughed and rolled her eyes, "give me a break."

Buffy growled and launched herself at Faith. Shoving her against the wall and keeping her pinned with a forearm to her throat. "You have two choices. And at this moment, I don't really care which one you choose." Buffy pressed harder against Faith's windpipe as she struggled. "You either stop being such an asshole and let me help you, or you leave and fend for yourself."

"Why didn't you kill me?" Faith managed to push out the question, even though she could barely breathe. That was the thing she couldn't figure out. There was no reason for her to still be alive.

Buffy softened and backed away. "I... couldn't. As soon as I felt the knife go in... I just couldn't believe what I had done." Buffy backed away further and turned to look out the window. "I've gone over it and over it, and I just can't figure out what happened."

Faith frowned and had no idea what to say. She had been so focused on her anger that she'd forgotten how to feel anything else.

Buffy's back was to her, Faith could have done anything. If only she had any idea what she actually wanted to do.

"B?"

Buffy tensed but didn't turn around.

"I... don't understand. What do you want from me?"

"I just... I want you to try."


End file.
